My Best Friend

The decision to tell a friend is not something I think we should take lightly. The truth is that once you tell someone you are transgendered, you can never untell it. This is especially true when you tell a friend where you work. My situation was a little different because I am currently working away from home. If things got really bad, I could always go home.

I met my friend Michele in August and we quickly realized we are about the same age and have some of the same interests in music. I told Michele about couple of times (dressed as a guy) where people had called me ma'am. She actually told me, "but you don't look like a girl." Of course I was thinking to myself, "If she only knew!" I met up with my friend Revy at Southern Comfort in the beginning of October and told her what Michele had said. I joked around saying, "I think I will tell her." I didn't really think I would have the nerve to do it. By the time I got back to Memphis, I had pretty much decided to keep my secret to myself.

Michele stopped by my cubicle Monday morning and I made a snap decision. I asked her, "Do you get freaked out easy?"

"Not usually, why"

"Do you want to know my deepest darkest secret?"

"Sure, if you want to tell me. David, why are you shaking so much?"

I was shaking like a leaf. I think the only time I have been more scared was when I told Brenda. I decided to go ahead with my plans, and showed her a picture from Southern Comfort. Michele looked at the picture for a minute and said, "Ok, now I am freaking out!" Now I was afraid I had done the wrong thing. We talked for a little and she started asking me questions in email. I started feeling a little better.

Late Tuesday I received an incredibly sweet email. Michele had written, "I don't understand this part of you, but if you are a friend, I have to accept it. I consider you a friend." I almost cried right there in my cube! Every now and then Michele would email me a question and I would try to answer it. I still don't think I have convinced her of why I feel this way.

I had been sending Michele pictures of me, and something very scary happened. Michele sent me an email saying she did something bad and apologizing profusely! She had accidentally let another friend from work, Bryan, see my web page!! He recognized me and kind of freaked out. Luckily he was a good enough friend to Michele that she convinced him to keep quiet about it. It was weird for a couple of weeks, but now it is like nothing happened.

The first time I went shopping with Michele, we went to a mall near work during lunch. When the sales lady at Casual Corner said, "Can I help you ladies?" Michele pointed out the distance involved. We both laughed when the saleslady at the makeup counter asked me if I would like to try a lipstick. As we left the store, Michele said, "but, you're a guy!!" The way she said it, astonished but without judging, was very cute! "But you're a guy" has become a running joke with us and we both have a lot of fun with it.

Michele wasn't sure how she would handle seeing me dressed, and I did not want to press the issue. When I came back to Memphis, I made Michele dinner and she came over with Danielle greeting her at the door. It was great, and we ended the evening by polishing our nails. This past Saturday we even went and saw Titanic together. We had a great time and Michele had no problem calling me Danielle while we were out. (She does get confused at times saying, "he, I mean she" at times, but I think that is totally understandable since she primarily knows me as David.)

Telling Michele about me may have been a real risk, but in the long run I think it is one of the best things I have ever done. She is now one of the closest friends I have ever had. She told her boyfriend, "David is the closest thing to a girlfriend I have." She told her friend Bryan, "I have a girlfriend now" and he said, "who, David?" In a lot of ways, I think Michele is the only (genetic) girlfriend I have ever had. (Luckily my wife, Brenda, understands this and likes Michele too!)

Epilogue: The next day, I asked Michele if it had been a big deal going out with me. She admitted that she was a little uncomfortable because I might be discovered. Isn't that the definition of friendship? Michele was scared and uncomfortable being with me, however because I am her friend she was willing to go out with me anyway! I don't know if Michele will ever go out with me dressed again, and I don't think it matters. Because now I don't have to hide myself around her and I know she would go out for me!